Back to work in the morning, my vacation done for another year. It will be a rude shock being back in the world tomorrow. Especially after not getting the Indigo job. But at least, it’s a job. And I’ll get to be with my awesome co-workers again.
While off, I made good on my plan to watch all the James Bond movies (haven’t done Casino Royale yet, but this week) It’s interesting to watch them evolve as the years pass, and the actors change. I also watched a couple of other good things from zip.ca. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer is good, but very bizarre. Beautifully shot, it’s interesting to see a protagonist that you can’t really root for, because he’s doing such terrible things, but the motivations are so fascinating to watch. I really liked Twilight of the Golds, about a family facing an interesting dilemma in a world where genetic testing reveals that the daughter’s unborm child has a ninety percent chance of being gay. All the buried dynamics between her gay brother and their (on the surface) accepting parents come to light. I have a soft spot for Jennifer Beals and Brendan Fraser, so this one appeals for that reason. Other rentals were Bulgarian Lovers, a Spanish gay film, which I almost didn’t like, because of the self destructive main character, but it won me over right at the end; and After the Sunset, a fun little caper flick with Pierce Brosnan and Salma Hayek
Finished reading Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep. Sexist, misogynistic, and homophobic, all things that are a product of the time, but damn the man can put sentences together. Prime example of the hard bitten noir crime novel. Also read Singularity Sky by Charles Stross, which is space opera with hard science, if that makes any sense; and Hero by Perry Moore, which is a lovely novel about a gay, teen superhero, dealing with his powers and his sexuality in the face of a bitter, ex hero father and a world threatening crisis. Highly recommend this one for any comic lovin’ ‘mos on the flist.
Finished the paintings I posted earlier today and cleaned up my studio. Need to get off my butt and paint more. Think I might try to paint some more in a smaller scale, to make them easier to flog online, through Etsy or some such. Have taken stock of what I need to pick up at the store to replenish my paint supplies and feel a few ideas percolating.
On one of my wanders around the city, I broke down and bought Melody, the new solo album by Sharleen Spiteri, lead singer of Texas (for whom my love knows no bounds). It kind of has that Winehouse/Duffy vibe to it, but in a slightly slicker, more Lesley Gore/Nancy Sinatra kind of way. I dig it.
Went on a few fun dates with some nice and hot men. No out and out rejections, which is always good. We’ll see how they play out.
In my time to think about my life and where it’s at, I made a bit of peace with singleness, with feeling like I’m alone in the world, that some of those I call friends don’t care for me in the same way. In the end, I can’t do anything about that. I can only let them go if I feel I must. Love the best way I know how. Meet people with no expectations other than maybe finding a new friend or person to hang out with. I’ve been feeling less and less sexual or romantic in the last half year to year, and the most recent heart wound just made me see what I really would like if it were to drop from the heavens. But until then, I need to do the things I love, that make me happy. And painting and writing and reading are all important things that I need in my life.
And most importantly, an old and dear friend, has offered me something that I needed desperately, that it took swallowing all of my pride to ask for, but that will help me get my life into better order. For the first time in a very long time, I feel myself on slightly surer footing.
And it feels good. I have no idea how long it’s going to last, but I’m relishing it while it’s here.